All of You Page 30

  But she didn’t.

  And a few seconds later, Danny was gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

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  “Do you want to talk about it?” Nathan asked as they walked back to the cruiser, after dropping a few drunk and disorderlies off at the jail.

  Danny shook his head. He opened his door and slid into the passenger seat and pulled on his seat belt while Nathan slid behind the wheel.

  Nathan turned over the ignition and leaned back into the seat, nodding. “Okay. I’m just asking because Stella said you looked ‘all freaked out’ – her words – when you left Pops’ house earlier. And you haven’t said a word all night.”

  Danny shrugged, silently staring out the passenger side window.

  Because what was there to say?

  Danny had fucked everything up.

  Again.

  As usual.

  “Did something happen with Kat?”

  Danny almost snorted.

  What hadn’t happened with Kat?

  Including Danny punishing her for daring to want to spend a damn holiday with him like a normal person.

  God, you make me so fucking sick.

  Asshole.

  “Listen, you, uh, helped me through a lot of stuff when Stella and I first got together,” Nathan said quietly. “Maybe I can help you now.”

  “Help me, what, Nathan?” Danny turned to face him. “Learn how to be a totally different person? To forget all of the shit I’ve been through? To….” He grabbed the back of his neck and faced forward. “To somehow become good enough for her, even though I already know that is fucking impossible?”

  “Just tell me what happened.”

  Danny huffed. “She wanted me to come to Gigi’s for Christmas. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable doing that, she didn’t understand where I was coming from, and I left.”

  “Why don’t you feel comfortable going to Gigi’s?”

  “Because I’m not looking to get into all that! I hate that shit! Happy families sitting around drinking fucking eggnog, opening presents, and singing stupid-ass Christmas carols?” Danny scoffed loudly. “No, thanks.”

  “As someone who has spent a Christmas with the Ciaramitaros, I can assure you there is no ‘fucking eggnog’ or ‘stupid-ass Christmas carols.’” Nathan shrugged. “There’s a lot of yelling, laughing, food, and – yeah – there are some presents, but it’s not annoying or anything.”

  Danny twisted in his seat to face him. “How do you stand it, Nathan? We grew up in the same shitty foster and state homes and have all of the same issues…so how is it you are just fucking fine with stepping into a family like you belong there? Like you’ll always belong there? How do you pretend to get it day-after-day?”

  “I wasn’t fine with it at first, you know that. It took a long time for me to believe Stella wanted to be with me…and that she wasn’t going to change her mind.” Nathan lifted a shoulder. “But the fear…I don’t know…wears off, I guess, after a while. And once I married Stella, I legally became her real family – which made me feel a whole lot better on days when all the shit came rushing back.”

  Danny thought about everything Kat had said and hated himself with a renewed passion.

  All she was trying to do was tell you she loves you and wants to be with you for the long haul. Why did you have to freak out like a scared, little bitch and lash out at her like that?

  Because he was a scared, little bitch, deep-down.

  Simple as that.

  “Well, I don’t see myself letting go of any of that shit anytime soon,” Danny said, once again staring out the window at nothing at all. “I’ve had my fill of ‘family’ over the years and it’s not anything I’m looking to repeat over and over again for the rest of my life.”

  “Those weren’t families, Mac. Not real ones. The people we were born to and the ones we lived with all those years…they were just temporary, fucked-up relationships we had to get through to survive.”

  “And I’m not looking to survive any more of them.”

  “A real family isn’t like that, but you’ll never know that if you don’t give it a chance,” Nathan said. When Danny didn’t respond, Nathan lifted his hands. “So, what do you want to do, then, Mac? Keep things like they are – just fucking around with her whenever the chance happens to arise?” When Danny shot him a dirty look, Nathan shrugged. “Okay, if not that, then, what?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t think that far in advance.” He exhaled a hard sigh. “I guess I never thought it was ever going to get this far.”

  They sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes before Nathan finally cleared his throat. “You know me; I’m terrible with this shit and not great with advice. But I will tell you one thing: don’t do what I did. Don’t let the past get in the way of what’s going on now.” Nathan glanced out the driver’s side window. “One, because that means they win and, I don’t know about you, but I fucking refuse to let that happen. And, two, because, if you do, you’ll lose her.” He turned back to face Danny, shadows in his eyes. “And, take it from me, you’ll never forgive yourself if that happens.”

  “You didn’t lose Stella.”

  “Yeah, by some miracle. But don’t think for a second I’ve let myself off the hook for all the shit I pulled…for all the months I lost…” Nathan paused, facing forward, looking out the windshield. “Months I can never get back. Months she needed me and I wasn’t there for her.” He shook his head slowly. “I will never forgive myself for that, Mac. And you’ll never forgive yourself if you lose Kat.” He glanced over, a tiny smile tugging at his lips. “Especially over something so goddamned stupid as drinking eggnog, singing, and opening a few damn gifts.”

  Danny exhaled a hard laugh. “Fuck you.”

  Nathan grinned, putting the cruiser into drive and pulling out of the jail parking lot. “So, you gonna get a grip on yourself and come to Gigi’s?”

  “I should probably see if Kat still wants me there,” Danny replied, smile fading. “After what a prick I was to her earlier, I wouldn’t be surprised if that particular invite has been rescinded.”

  *

  Kat’s phone buzzed, startling her so badly she dropped the book she’d been pretending to read.

  Hand shaking, she grabbed her phone – relief flooding her body at the sight of his name on her screen.

  Danny texted: Hey, any chance you’re awake?

  Kat responded: Yes.

  Danny: It’s 3:21. Why are you up?

  Kat: Couldn’t sleep.

  About a minute later, Danny texted: Can I please come in for a minute? Just to talk?

  Kat paused, then texted: Where are you?

  A few seconds later, Kat heard a soft knock at her front door. She threw the afghan off her legs and walked over to the door, heart racing and pounding.

  A quick peek out the peephole had Kat fumbling with the deadbolt. She unlocked the knob lock, flung open the door, and – without hesitation – threw herself straight into his outstretched arms.

  “I’m sorry I was such an asshole,” he whispered against her neck at the exact same time Kat whispered, “I’m sorry I pushed you so hard” against his stubbled cheek.

  They both exhaled soft laughs.

  Danny lifted his head, meeting her eyes. “So, does this mean I can come in?”

  “Yeah,” she replied, her eyes already dropping to his lips. “But not ‘just to talk.’”

  Kat gripped the back of his neck and pulled, bringing their mouths together. She licked at his bottom lip, tugging it between her teeth, then opening her mouth to absorb Danny’s long, loud groan before slipping her tongue into his.

  Despite going at each other’s mouths hard, Danny managed to shut the door behind him, lock it, and stumble toward her bedroom. At one point, he bumped a shoulder into a wall, turned, and pressed Kat’s back into it – bracing her with one hand under her butt, while the other slid up her tee-shirt, beneath her left breast, and gently squeezed.

&n
bsp; It was Kat’s turn to moan into his mouth as Danny waged an almost unbearably pleasurable assault on her breast: his huge, warm, strong hand caressing it, rubbing her nipple with his thumb, and then gently squeezing again.

  Danny broke away from their kiss and lowered his mouth, letting out a frustrated grunt when he came mouth-to-cotton.

  “Damn it,” he muttered under his breath, lifting her against him again and finally getting them the rest of the way to her bedroom room in record time. He set her on the edge of the bed – their mouths still fused – and slowly pushed her back.

  Kat reached down and fumbled with his utility belt, her hand stilling when Danny’s began rubbing her over the front of her yoga pants. “Oh…” she breathed out as his hand slipped down into her pants, beneath her panties. They gasped in unison when his fingers finally found her aching, drenched core.

  Kat made an inarticulate sound of disapproval when Danny took his hand back, but then grinned up at him when she realized it was so he could yank off his utility belt, unbutton, unzip, and pull down his pants before positioning himself on top of her again.

  With help from Kat, Danny got her pants half-off and her tee-shirt and bra pushed up far enough to bare her breasts.

  “Fuck, Kat,” he breathed out, lowering his head to her chest. A second later, Kat’s breast was in his mouth and Danny was sucking at her in a desperate way that had her panting out his name.

  “It’s aching, Danny,” she half-moaned, half-whispered against the top of his head. Kat tried reaching down to grab his erection, but their bodies were too flush. She squirmed beneath him, suddenly frantic to soothe the awful, gnawing ache between her legs. “Danny…please…” When he simply moved his mouth from one breast to the other, Kat moaned in frustration. She tugged on his neck. “Danny!”

  He lifted his head to meet her eyes, his glazed over and hooded. “What, sweetheart?”

  Kat lifted her pelvis, her fingers curling into his sides, tugging him. “I need you, Danny. Please…” She squirmed side-to-side, desperate for any kind of friction to ease the aching. “I need to feel you…I feel like I’m going to explode if I can’t feel you inside of me right now.”

  “Oh, God, I need you, too, Kat,” he breathed out. “And the way you’re always begging me for it drives me out of my fucking mind.”

  Danny slid up her body and positioned himself, but her half-on yoga pants prevented Kat from spreading her legs to accommodate him.

  “Fucking clothes…” A few seconds later, Danny had one pant leg off, his body back on top of her, and his left arm wrapped around her right thigh – gently pressing it out and opening Kat up.

  Danny’s mouth captured hers in a demanding, desperate kiss. He dipped his pelvis down, grinding against her, and the feel of his erection pressing against her swollen labia had Kat gasping into his mouth.

  She broke away from their kiss, burying her face into his shoulder. “More, please…”

  He did push into her then, but it still wasn’t enough. And the slow, shallow plunges Danny was allowing did nothing but turn the dull, throbbing ache into full-blown torture.

  “Harder, Danny,” she said, digging her fingernails into his back, urging him on. “Harder and faster. Please.”

  “I don’t…want…to hurt you,” he panted out in a strangled voice, just above her ear.

  It was considerate.

  And sweet.

  And very, very gentlemanly.

  But, unfortunately, considerate, sweet, and gentlemanly weren’t gonna cut it right now.

  Kat pushed at his chest, hard. “Let me up.” When Danny met her eyes, she shoved at him again. “Now.”

  He slowly moved off of her. Kat got up on her knees, pushed him back onto the mattress, and flung her right leg over his waist. She reached down and grabbed his erection, positioning it, and braced her hands on his chest.

  In one smooth, hard movement, Kat sank down on his erection, crying out as the feel of his hardness inside of her both soothed and increased the horrible ache.

  She heard Danny call out, “Fuck, Kat!” and she felt his hands firmly grip her hips, but she was too wrapped up in her own experience to respond or – frankly – care. All she could think about was fulfilling that awful, gnawing need before it drove her crazy.

  Kat moved her body up, which resulted in Danny’s erection pulling out, and then slammed down on him again. She did it again and again and again, each deep penetration and retreat somehow fanning the flames and relieving them at the same time…pushing Kat closer and closer to the relief she desperately needed and the pleasure she craved.

  “Oh, yeah, fuck me, Kat…”

  Danny’s hands tightened so hard on her hips Kat knew there would be marks tomorrow – and that knowledge somehow turned her on even more, pushed her even closer to orgasm.

  She panted out his name each time she sank down on him, until she was riding him so hard and so fast that his name suddenly sounded like a loud chant echoing through the room.

  She curled her fingertips deeper into his pecs – and with one final, hard movement down on him – Kat shattered, screaming out his name as the overwhelmingly intense, indescribable pleasure seemed to light every single one of her nerve fibers on fire simultaneously.

  She felt Danny’s final few thrusts, heard him cry out her name as loudly as she’d screamed out his, and registered the even pulses as he orgasmed inside of her…but she couldn’t respond to any of it.

  She’d already collapsed on his chest, heart pounding painfully against her ribcage, her lungs burning from her labored breathing, and her throat raw from all her yelling. Every muscle in her body felt strained and pulled, every inch of her skin tingled, and her head felt a bit dizzy.

  “Oh, my God…” she said, laughing. “That was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life…I had no idea anything could feel that damn good.” Kat’s lips pulled into giddy, silly smile she couldn’t have controlled if she’d tried. “I’ve heard make-up sex was good, but that was ridiculous, Danny.”

  He grunted, his arms tightening around her.

  Kat lifted her head and gazed up at him. Danny’s eyes were closed, his lips were parted, and his face was flushed.

  Her brows dropped. “Are you okay, Danny? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

  His eyes cracked up and met hers. “No, but you damn near gave me a heart attack with all that, Kat,” he said, his voice gruff and low.

  “With all ‘what?’”

  He scoffed.

  Kat pinched his bicep. “What?”

  “Uh, riding me like the sexiest fucking cowgirl on earth, for starters.” When Kat grinned, he huffed. “Yeah, you pretty proud of yourself right now, Kat?” She nodded, loving the intense way he was staring at her.

  Kat buried her head back into his chest and nuzzled, letting out a contented sigh when Danny began running his fingertips up and down her spine. “So,” she began, smiling against his skin. “You like how I’m always begging for it, huh?”

  When Danny shot back, “Fuck yeah, I do!” Kat’s smile morphed into a full shit-eating grin.

  She tilted her head back to meet his eyes. “Well, just so you know, I love hearing you beg for it, too.”

  Danny barked out a throaty laugh. “Yeah, I’ll just bet you do, you little monster…I’ll just bet you do.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

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  They lay in the still darkness for a while, touching, hugging, and kissing each other wherever their lips happened to land.

  Danny found her hand and threaded their fingers together. “I’m so sorry about earlier,” he said quietly. “You know I didn’t mean any of that shit, right?”

  “Yeah, I know and I’m sorry, too. I’m shouldn’t have said that…about you saying that to all those other women.” Kat paused, tightening her fingers around his. “I know that’s not true; I was just trying to hurt you.”

  “It only hurt me because I thought you believed it.”

  Kat must have heard the emotion i
n his voice, because she lifted their clasped hands to her lips and kissed the back of his. “I didn’t. Not for a second, Danny.”

  He pulled her into an embrace and Kat’s head tucked beneath his chin, resting on his bicep.

  “And I think I understand why you wouldn’t want to come for Christmas,” Kat said. “We can always celebrate together after Gigi’s. Or before. Or we don’t have to acknowledge it at all, if you don’t want to. Whatever you’re comfortable with is fine by me.” Kat paused. “I just want to be with you, that’s all.”

  Danny’s chest ached at her sweet words. He cleared his throat. “Of course I’ll come. For you.”

  “But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

  Danny’s arms tightened around her. “If we’re going to be a…family…I’m going to have to learn to deal with shit. And there’s no time like the present.”

  A few minutes of silence elapsed before Kat quietly said, “Danny?”

  “Hmmm…” he replied, nuzzling her hair.

  “I would have a much clearer understanding of your feelings and would be able to better gauge my expectations if I knew more about…well, about your past.”

  Danny froze momentarily before saying, “I think you’ve already got a pretty good idea of how things went down. The state took me from my biological parents; I bounced around a bunch of foster homes and eventually ended up at the juvenile facility. I stayed there until my social worker convinced the Rosses to take me in until I turned eighteen. I went to Bowling Green, to the academy, and joined the CPD. The rest you pretty much know.”

  “Tell me about your biological parents.” Kat’s fingertips began gently caressing the skin on the back of his neck and the tops of his shoulders. “What were they like?”

  Danny scoffed. “Degenerate junkies, if the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services paperwork can be believed.” Kat’s fingers paused for a second before resuming their caresses. “The woman who had me didn’t know who my father was, but she was pretty sure it was one of the guys she lived at the drug house with.” Danny shrugged. “The state took custody of me when I was about six.”