All of You Read online

  And her family?

  Well, those people she couldn’t do a damn thing about, because God knew she’d tried.

  All-of-a-sudden and for no reason other than the human brain was a fickle bitch, he popped into her head. Just as he’d been popping into her head every day since the day she’d met him eighteen months ago.

  He was egotistical.

  A man whore.

  And annoying as hell.

  So why Kat spent so much time trying to extricate him from her frontal lobe was anyone’s guess.

  Probably because his ridiculousness baffles and offends each of my brain cells. They are probably just trying to make sense of the inexplicable before moving on to more stimulating pastures.

  Too bad there was no understanding a thirty-three year old man – a police officer, no less – who drank like a fish, screwed like he was trying to whittle his bedpost into a toothpick, and strutted around like he was God’s gift to women.

  Ugh.

  “Kat?” She looked up and met Ben’s concerned expression. “You okay?”

  She’d drifted again.

  Must read less. Must sleep more.

  Kat shook her head. “Yes. Sorry.”

  She quickly dissected what Ben had said.

  You don’t have to marry him, bear his children, or wash his socks. An outing or two – as friends – might be okay.

  More than okay. Might be good for you.

  Why build another bridge, though? Why create more connections when they cannot last?

  Because you are lonely as hell and this is a guy who gets it.

  “As friends?” Kat asked. When Ben smiled and nodded, so she did she. “Well, I guess that would be okay.”

  Ben laughed and said, “I’ll take it,” which made Kat blush.

  Way to slap another spoonful of awkward onto this clumsy shit-show.

  Kat quickly plugged Ben’s info into her phone and gave him hers. They said their stilted good-byes and, a few seconds later, Kat finally made it into the elevator.

  As soon as the doors closed, she loosened stomach muscles she’d been clenching since Ben had appeared. With a quick wave to the old security guy behind the desk, Kat trudged out into the snow, got into her sensible Chevy Equinox, and headed home…

  The entire time regretting her acquiescence to Ben’s offer.

  And chastising her gray matter, once again, for continuing to harbor thoughts of him.

  Chapter Two

  ‡

  “I never thought I’d see the day.” Danny MacDonough pointed to the greenish splotch on his partner-in-fighting-crime’s tee shirt.

  Nathan Drazek looked down. “Yeah, Gia got me again. And she’s a damn sneak about it, too.” He swiped at the dried stain. “Never gives us any warning, no burp or anything. Just spews the baby food all over and smiles like nothing happened.”

  “Judging by your shit-eating grin, you don’t seem to mind at all,” Danny said, grinning himself.

  “Nah.” Nathan tilted his head toward the bedroom where his wife, Stella, and their eight month old baby, Gia, were sleeping. “For whatever reason, when it’s your kid, you think it’s cute. Stupid, but true.”

  Danny drained the rest of his Heineken. “Yeah, well, that kid is abnormally cute. And I’m not usually a baby kind of guy.”

  “That’s for damn sure. Not unless you’re talking about women 18-25, anyway.”

  “Nope, that particular age range is what I like to call ‘Good Time Girls.’ All they want to do is drink, party, and maybe text a few times afterwards. No commitments, no drama – just some no-strings-attached screwing and a nice breakfast at Denny’s before heading home.” Danny grinned. “Heaven, right?”

  Nathan’s upper lip curled.

  Danny laughed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know – not your style. But, like I always said, that means more ladies for the rest of us.” He stood and grabbed his jacket. “Speaking of which, I’ve gotta head out. I’m meeting Rochelle and her friends at some club downtown.”

  “Who is Rochelle and what kind of club?”

  “She’s the dental hygienist student I told you about. And who knows. She gave me the name and said to be there at ten o’clock,” Danny said, pulling on his jacket. “I am praying to God it’s not techno. The rest of ‘em I can handle, but techno is killer. I had a headache for a week last time I went to one of those fucking places.”

  “One of these days, CPD will bust a club for something and you’ll be there. They’ll flip on the lights and there you’ll be: on the dance floor, bumping and grinding with a twenty year old,” Nathan said.

  Danny scoffed. “What is this, amateur hour? Give me some credit, will you? I’d be bumping and grinding with at least three twenty year olds. And probably a waitress, too.”

  Nathan grunted. “Just be careful out there. If you need a lift, call me. And you know you can stick around here. When Stella gets up, she’s gonna heat up some ziti and we’re gonna watch a movie. You’re welcome to stay. Stella would love shoving food down your throat. You know how she worries you don’t eat enough.”

  Danny considered it, but then thought about how nauseating it would be to watch Nathan and Stella fawn over each other and Gia. It made Danny an asshole of the highest order, but he wasn’t up for being third wheel to their domestic bliss tonight.

  “Nah, but thanks. You guys have fun, though.”

  Danny left and drove through steady snowfall toward downtown Cleveland. Twenty minutes later, he was pushing his way through a sweaty throng of twenty-somethings who had, if they were male, showered in Abercrombie & Fitch cologne and, if they were female, depleted area craft stores of glitter, which was now spread all over their bodies.

  Danny caught sight of Rochelle at a table full of people and lifted his hand in a greeting. She grinned and waved him over.

  Rochelle leaned over and whispered something to a blonde-haired woman as Danny approached and they both giggled.

  Rochelle gestured to the blonde. “Danny, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is the cop I was telling you about, Danny.”

  Sarah’s light blue eyes were glazed over and her posture off-kilter as she extended her hand.

  Danny’s off-duty assessment?

  Alcohol mixed with some benzos.

  “Hey, nice ta meet ya!” Sarah shouted over the pounding bass of some Top 40 hit. “Rochelle’s told me all about you.”

  Rochelle slapped Sarah’s arm and they dissolved into giggles again…and the huge knot in Danny’s stomach pulled just a little tighter.

  Means to an end, man. Means to an end.

  Danny plastered on his cop mask – the one he used when dealing with drunks, druggies, and hookers – and forced a smile. “All good stuff, I hope?”

  Sarah bit her bottom lip. “Oh, yeah.” She eyed Danny’s midsection. “You got your gun on you right now?”

  “Nope, not tonight,” Danny lied.

  “Shit! I was really hoping you’d let us touch it!” Sarah narrowed her eyes and puckered her lips. “Or that you’d give us all a good frisking!”

  The women squealed and play-slapped each other, laughing and knocking over two beer bottles.

  Jesus H. Christ…

  If he was going to get through this, he needed to start drinking.

  Now.

  Danny flagged down a waitress and ordered a double Jack Daniels with a beer chaser. Fifteen minutes later, a slightly buzzed, half-deaf, and ready to rock Danny led Rochelle onto the packed dance floor.

  She was on the tall side – Danny guessed about 5’8,” 5’9,” which meant she fit against his 6’2” frame well. The song wasn’t slow, but it was slow enough to warrant getting his body very close to hers. When he grabbed her slim hips and pulled her closer, their pelvises fit together nicely.

  And that was all he was really after…just a little friction to get him through the night.

  Rochelle wound her arms around his neck and smiled coyly.

  Danny eyed her full, pink lips, remembering them wrapp
ed around his dick during a particularly interesting shower escapade last week. “Your roommate still out of town?”

  She nodded slowly, breath catching when Danny slipped his fingers into the back of her jeans.

  “We’ll fuck at your place tonight, then,” he said.

  Danny dipped his head and pressed his lips to the hollow of her throat. She smelled like synthetic fruit and tasted like hairspray, but her skin was warm and smooth and his body amped up.

  “Mmmm…”

  The reverberations of her vocal chords hummed against Danny’s lips and he went rock-hard. Rochelle slid her hands down over his shoulders, pecs, and abs, pausing right above his crotch.

  She tugged at the waist of his jeans as her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip.

  “You ready now, honey?” he asked thickly and Rochelle nodded again.

  Good. Better to get it over with here and cut out all of the prolonged bullshit.

  And so they never made it to Rochelle’s house, after all. They only made it as far as the men’s bathroom, where they quietly fucked in the handicapped stall. Danny supplied the rubber, Rochelle bent over the toilet, and it took all of about three minutes.

  They cleaned up and Danny walked her back to her friends. He tried socializing, but now that he’d gotten off, all patience was gone. The giggling and squealing were worse than nails on a chalkboard and the knowing looks being passed around made him sick to his stomach.

  Danny leaned in. “I’m gonna take off,” he said into Rochelle’s ear, not sure of how she’d take his pump-and-run method of operation.

  But she just planted a quick kiss on his lips and waved him off. “Thanks for coming tonight.” Rochelle giggled at her play on words. “Text me later, okay?”

  Danny nodded and made his way to the bar, where he got way too shitfaced to drive in a very short amount of time.

  The blurry numbers on his watch seemed to suggest it was sometime between midnight and 1 a.m.

  Or maybe 1 a.m. and 2 a.m.

  Danny fumbled to get his cell phone out and squinted at the display.

  12:38 a.m.

  Danny pulled Greater Cleveland Cab Co.’s number up in his contacts, but he didn’t call. Instead, he scrolled down to his partner’s name.

  One and a half rings later, Nathan picked up. “Hello?”

  “You up?” Danny plugged his free ear.

  “Yeah. What’s up?”

  “Oh, nothin’. You know, normal shit.”

  “Does ‘normal shit’ include jamming with Justin Timberlake?”

  Danny looked around, wondering if Nathan knew something he didn’t. “Huh?”

  Nathan sighed. “Never mind. You need a ride, Mac?”

  “Yeah. Drank too much. Again. Thought about calling a cab, but…”

  Danny had no ending for that sentence. Or at least not one that wouldn’t have sounded pathetic.

  “No problem. I’m on my way.” Nathan put his hand over the receiver and spoke to someone.

  Probably Stella.

  Or the baby, maybe.

  No, probably Stella.

  “Where you at, Danny?” Nathan asked.

  “Uh…” Danny searched for a reminder. The huge neon sign above the bar helped. “Epiphany.”

  Nathan scoffed. “Okay, I should be there in about ten minutes.”

  “I’ll meet you outside.” Danny made his way through the thinning crowd toward the entrance.

  “Sounds good.”

  Danny shoved the phone back into his pocket, stumbled through the door and around the corner, and into a narrow alley. He backed up and slid down the brick wall until his ass hit the cold, wet pavement.

  Some drunken college kids staggered by, followed by a pack of high-heeled, slim-legged women wearing hot pink boas and drinking out of dick-shaped bottles.

  When Danny’s eyelids grew painfully heavy, he leaned his head back against the brick and closed them for a few seconds.

  “No, no, no…”

  Danny shook his back-and-forth and gave his face a few smacks, ‘cause passing out in a nasty-ass alley with his service pistol attached to his hip would rank right up there with some of the dumbest shit he’d ever pulled.

  But he was so fucking tired.

  I’ll just close them for a few…

  “Danny?”

  Danny heard Nathan’s voice, but was too drunk and too tired to respond. Instead, he grunted and curled himself into a tighter ball. He registered the wetness on his cheek and the hard, cold surface beneath him, but couldn’t muster the energy to move – or care.

  “Danny!” This time Nathan’s voice was accompanied by a hard shake to the shoulder.

  He heard Nathan mutter, “Fucking ridiculous,” and, even in his intoxicated stupor, Danny couldn’t have agreed more.

  It was ridiculous.

  He was ridiculous.

  But that was Danny’s place in the world.

  He was the crazy one. The funny one. The baller who got all the chicks and didn’t have a care in the world. Danny was every guy’s idol and #1 on every chick’s To Do list.

  Her face suddenly swam behind his closed eyelids – big hazel eyes, a tiny overbite, and a snarky expression he was always itching to kiss off her face.

  Well, not every chick’s list.

  “Fuck her, then,” Danny muttered.

  “Fuck, who? Oh, forget it. Doesn’t matter.”

  Nathan managed to get Danny to his feet and half-dragged him over to the Denali parked at the curb. He unceremoniously shoved Danny into the passenger seat and walked around to slide behind the wheel.

  “So, what were you guys up to?” Danny murmured as they pulled away from the curb.

  “We rented some chick-flick Stella’s been dying to see. Truth is, even though I think your drinking is completely out of control – and we’re gonna talk about that later, by the way – you saved me. ‘Cause about ten more minutes of that shit and I was about to cry for all the wrong reasons.” Nathan glanced over his shoulder and pulled away from the curb. “Thankfully, I’m pretty sure Stella will be asleep by the time we get back, which means I won’t have to finish the stupid thing.”

  “You guys eat the ziti?”

  “Yeah. Stella made it with the sweet sausage this time. My favorite. She packed some for our lunches tomorrow.”

  “You’re so fucking lucky, Nathan, you know that?” Danny waved off any real or anticipated reply. “Yeah, you know it. I know you do. Stella’s so hot and nice and now the baby? But I’m not hating on you. I’m happy for you. You know I’m happy for you, right, man?

  “Yeah, I know.” Nathan shot him a sideways glance. “You might be able to find someone nice, too, if you looked in places other than bars and strip clubs.”

  That certain raven-haired woman they both knew came to mind again. She was brilliant and crazy-sexy, with serious eyes and a pair of lips Danny couldn’t get out of his brain.

  But she was way out of his league.

  Oh, and she hated his guts.

  Not that Danny would ever go for someone like her, anyway.

  Danny’s eyelids suddenly grew very heavy again. He rested his head against the cool pane of the passenger side window. “Can I crash at your place tonight? And can you drive me back down here to get my car before work?”

  “Yeah, of course. No problem. But are you sure you don’t want me to drop you off? Gia still wakes up at night sometimes,” Nathan said.

  “I don’t care. I don’t feel like being alone right now.”

  He never would have admitted that to anyone other than Nathan, but there was no reason to hide from someone who knew who you were beneath all the bullshit. From the rest of the world, yes, but Nathan? Not necessary, or even possible given Danny’s current level of intoxication.

  “Then prepare yourself mentally for Stella’s psychological warfare in the morning. If I had to guess, the conversation will start with what deep-seated pain you’re covering up with alcohol and end with emotional voids you’
re trying to fill up with all your women,” Nathan said.

  Danny groaned. “Maybe you should take me home, after all.”

  Nathan smirked. “Too late. We’re already here.”

  Chapter Three

  ‡

  Kat rapped lightly on the front door. A few seconds later, Stella yelled, “Come on in!”

  The yelling meant Gia wasn’t sleeping, so Kat opened the door and yelled back, “It’s me, Stell!”

  There were half-empty sippy cups, piles of paperwork, and toys scattered all over the living room. Stella’s messiness combined with a baby was proving too much for even Nathan to keep in check.

  “We’re back here, Kat!”

  Kat followed Stella’s voice to the baby’s room.

  Stella had decorated Gia’s nursery in green, black, and white – with damask prints, a jeweled black chandelier, and a zebra print rug. If not for the stinky Diaper Genie and screaming baby, it would have been a very beautiful, serene space.

  Nathan picked Gia up off the changing table and planted a big kiss on her chubby cheek. “What’s wrong, my little angel?” he cooed, laughing when Gia stopped crying and stared at him. “There you go, my little princess.” Nathan kissed both cheeks and the tip of her nose, which made Gia giggle. “That’s better, isn’t it? Daddy always makes it all better.” He turned Gia to face Kat. “Hi, Zia Kitty-Kat.”

  Kat grinned and shifted weight to her stronger right leg, extending her arms. “Piccolo farfalla mia! Come see your zia.” Nathan handed her Gia. Kat held her, swinging back and forth and giving Gia a squeeze. “Oh, I love this kid.” Kat shot Nathan a look. “And that’s the only reason I’m not gonna rip your face off for the ‘Kitty-Kat’ crap.”

  Nathan grinned and threw a burp cloth over his shoulder. He changed out the Diaper Genie bag and kissed Gia’s head before walking out of the room.

  Even after all these months, it was still so weird to see him like this – relaxed and happy. Nathan was a serious guy, to put it mildly, but this baby had turned a huge mountain of a hard-nosed cop into a puddle of mush.

  “Isn’t he so adorable you could eat him with a spoon?” Stella whispered, watching Nathan walk away as she came in. “Every time I see him with her I wanna jump him.” She grinned. “And most of the time, I do.”